Cranky Old Men

It's not often you find former Aussie cricketers criticizing a winning Aussie team. So imagine my surprise when I find a bevy of former stars all having a go at Ricky Ponting's team, in the same article! Would you believe the most stinging accusations (and possibly the most ridiculous too) came from the former cricketer who has been retired the longest: one KD Walters. On the recent spate of Aussie injuries, Dougie says, "I think they make it up, that they've got injuries."

Like, WTF? In terms of quality of insult and degree of heinousness, second only to allegations of match fixing or treason are charges of faking injuries. Maybe Dougie was on one of his famous benders before the interview. How else could he possibly explain seven injuries in the one team, at the same time?

Throughout the course of his rant Dougie also predicts the inevitable death of "50-50" cricket, which is perplexing given the tight finishes and quality of cricket on offer in this particular ODI series. How about laying off the turps, Dougie? You might acutally get to watch some good cricket.

At least the likes of Steve Rixon and Geoff Lawson offered evidence of their theories, and on first glance I must say these two gentlemen have a point. After all, Lawson was coach of Pakistan for a brief period and if there is anybody eminently qualified to comment on players faking injuries, it is erstwhile coaches of Pakistan.

Finally, I am thankful that a spade was finally referred to by its rightful and righteous name. Tim Nielsen's theory that the Champions League was the catalyst for Brett Lee's dodgy elbow is spurious and cheap points scoring. Forever and a day it has been an antipodean cricketing strategy to apportion blame for their problems on ill-gotten pleasures / poor hygiene / bad ground conditions (take your pick, depending on the issue at hand) of the East. How about this theory, Tim: Lee's elbow injury happened because sometimes, shit happens?!