Learn To Bat Like Chris Martin

To Coldplay fans who came here looking for something about Chris Martin, the rock star, I offer my sincerest apologies. For cricket fans who came here to laugh at their favourite Phantom, welcome on in (the following material is not suitable for minors who aspire to become record-breaking batsmen soon after their voices crack - The Match Referee recommends strict parental guidance as we do not wish to be responsible for a generation of failures):



I did warn you, didn't I?