Wednesday, February 07, 2007


The Prime Reason Why Zimbabweans Cannot Play Cricket


Well they can, just not very well at this particular point in time. That is the consensus among normal people.

However, if a Cricinfo article is to be believed, the answer to the above question is: their hair. The war lords that preside over the shambolic institution (or private fiefdom, which ever you find more apt) that is Zimbabwe Cricket have decreed that a dress (read hair) code is an essential ingredient in producing world-beating international cricketers.

Steven Price reports on a Zimbabwe Cricket edict that requires all players to have military style crew cuts, with a single strand of hair not exceeding a length of half an inch. According to the article, this rule currently applies to three players in the national team, although there is a considerable confusion as to whether it will be extended to include other local stars who are attempting to make a comebacks after long layoffs due to serious ailments, such as head lice.

The furore over his flowing locks has caused one unnamed Zimbabwe cricketer to admit, in a flood of tears:
"This is gross human rights abuse but I need to look after my family. Cricket is my job and I cannot risk my job for dreadlocks."

Proving once again that when one has mouths to feed, one must acquiesce to the honourable wishes of men who have far less than a full head of hair, such as Zimbabwe Cricket President Peter Chingoka (right).

And you thought Lalit Modi was an idiot, huh?


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